| In the Company of My
Lord - 10 |
 |
By Ma Gurupriya
[Published in Vicharasetu – November 1991. The author Ma Gurupriya was then ‘Ratnadeepa’]
Jagannaatha
– Lord of The Universe
Earlier
we had gone for a pilgrimage to Sree Jagannaatha Kshetra,
Puri.
The pathways of this place have become holy by the
footprints of innumerable devotees, Sages and Seers from
every corner of the country over the ages.
The place is especially associated with the memory of
the great Sree Chaitanya Mahaaprabhu, the widespread
spirituo-social revolution brought about by whom through the
double-edged sword of Jnaana and Bhakti had flooded the
country five centuries ago.
His famous Naama-Sankeertana, with
the power of which he united the people, fought the
caste-inequities and led a massive ‘civil disobedience
movement’ in Bengal, is still vibrant in the atmosphere of
Puri.
The dawns and the dusks get charged with the Naama-Sankeertana echoing from the small temples, Ashrams and
by-lanes.
In
the main Sree Jagannaatha Temple shrine, the Lord reminds
one of the little Vraja-boy Krishna posing between His
brother Balaraama and sister Subhadra.
The Lord here is called Jagannaatha
(Lord of the Universe), and is significantly without
hands and feet.
Standing in front of the shrine Aroopji recalled what
Baba told him long back: “After visiting all pilgrim
centres, a devotee finally comes to see Sree Jagannaatha and
their he finds that the Lord of the Universe has neither
hands nor feet; He does not do anything, He does not move.
The huge wide eyes of the idol speak only of the
‘awareness’, the ‘witness’.”
Jagannaatha indeed! One cannot but experience His Jagannaatha roopa in the vast expanse of the sea by the side of
which the temple is situated.
As is devotion permeated in the air of Sree
Jagannaatha Kshetra, so is He Himself permeating everything
everywhere.
One can see His face with an all-embracing smile in
the silent dusks and the serene dawns – against the
horizon where the sky embraces the sea.
He is felt in the huge mighty waves rolling and
lashing sportfully over the shore, and in the calm
unfathomable depths far inside – away from the shimmering
ranges.
Wherever
nature stands with vast expanse, be it a mountain-top, an
ocean or an open field, wherever the limitless sky descends
to embrace the horizon, the sight brings in the revelation
of how the Creator embraces His whole Creation. The mind
becomes still with the realization that although small and
insignificant, we too are a part of His great Creation which
moves on and on in its own rhythm! Ego stands humbled musing
over the marvel of the Great Jagannaatha!
Attention
& Sacrifice – the Saadhana of Devotional Refinement
One
day, while passing by the hawkers on the sea-side, my eyes
suddenly fell on a brass idol peeping from a pile of brass
vessels and lamps. It was a little Krishna, crawling.
With a crown decked with jewels and bright
peacock-feather on the head he was stretching out his hands
for butter. Tilting the head and looking up with wide eyes,
he was saying: “Look at me, how sweet and beautiful I
am!” beautiful indeed he was, charming and tender. I felt
so beckoned by this little one that I stretched out my hand
to take it home. I called Aroopji and expressed my desire.
Aroopji
nodded but said: “Will you be able to look after him with
proper care and regularity?” I told myself: “Yes, do I
really deserve to take you home?
Till now, you have not given me regularity in
devotional routine. I am enchanted no doubt by your innocent
appearance; but if I take you home, will I be able to look
after you with love and care in the proper manner
everyday?”
It
was very difficult to take my eyes away from the little one,
who I felt was crawling forward to jump on to my lap, I
stretched my hands twice or thrice, every time withdrawing
them thinking the act would be an impulsive one.
On one hand my devotional fervour
wanted to take him, but on the other it was the
self-examination: “Am I really ready? Would not my lack of
regularity and discipline make me neglect him soon?”
To
be sincere enough in pursuing devotional acts with attention
and regularity is quite different from the mere feeling of
devotion. It is difficult too and calls for a great deal of
sacrifice – sacrifice of one’s physical lethargy as well
as mental preferences.
This is true in regard to the devotion to God; it is
much more so in the matter of devotion to one’s Guru.
I
decided to part with the idol although his face kept on
haunting me.
I prayed:
“Let me be ready first to bring you home!”
The
Sivalinga
My
prayer was granted. I was growing regularity in spending
time near my small pooja shrine.
Seeing me getting ready, my Lord now desired to seat
Himself in the pooja shrine and be worshipped.
But He chose to come in the form of a Sivalinga.
Just before I started for Amarnath yaatraa, He gave me this
thought:
“I shall bring a Sivalinga
from Amarnath.”
On
our way back from Amarnath, as we were trekking down the
snowy mountain pass overlooking Seshnag Lake, Aroopji asked
me whether I had brought the Sivalinga
I desired. In fact I was so full with my darsan
that I did not remember anything else. Aroopji took out
an oval stone kept wrapped in cloth from his pocket and told
me that he had picked it up from Amarganga – the ice-cold
stream flowing down from the Amarnath Cave. In fact he was
picking up some other stone from the side of the river when
his attention was drawn to this one, a little inside the
stream.
Peeping out from the ripples it was calling: “Take
me, take me please!”
A
beautiful stone, light grayish-white in colour. As we
climbed down, the stone became darker and darker and finally
assumed the colour of dark clouds – Meghasyamam.
This became our Sivalinga.
We brought Him home.
I
had already kept a small wooden stool in one corner of the
bedroom and had placed there photos of Baba and Swamiji.
Now the shrine looked ornamented with the Sivalinga
sitting in a tiny stone bowl placed on a small stone
plate.
Both
Aroopji
and myself never wanted a pooja room where idols and
photos would accumulate but would not be taken care of.
“If we have anything, we must look after it with love,
care and attention, unfailingly, as we would our own body or
children.” And this was true not only of the pooja-shrine
but also of every other article in the house.
Spontaneous
Pooja of the Heart
Having
placed the linga I
felt like doing pooja. I knew not how to do ‘pooja’
with the proper rituals and mantras. I started in my own
way with whatever came from my heart. I gave abhisheka
to the Sivalinga, lighted
lamps and incense sticks, offered flowers and decorated the
shrine. The shrine and the pooja-vessels I used to keep
spotlessly clean and bright.
The sight of the shrine and the shining pooja-vessels
of copper and brass used to remind me that the mind also has
to be kept spotless and pure through constant effort,
through introspection and sublimation.
Soon
I was growing love for these simple acts of ‘pooja’. A
mother looks after her child not under compulsion but out of
sheer love and fondness. However much she may remain busy,
neither does she forget to do whatever is needed for her
child nor can she afford to become lazy. I too, because of
my growing fondness for the linga,
could not be irregular or lethargic any more in my
devotional routine – I was looking after my own little
child whose needs and demands I began to feel more and more.
I
used to sit in front of the shrine regularly for long hours,
keeping my gaze fixed on him.
He looked brilliant with ghee
smeared on his ‘face’ and a sandal tilak
on his ‘forehead’.
And, what a wonder! In this Sivalinga
I started seeing the sweet alluring face of the little
Krishna – the crawling one, asking for butter, the one
whom I wanted to bring from Puri; the Gopala and the little
lad of Vrindaavana, the nectarine tales about whom I had
read in Sreemad Bhaagavatam. We started calling Him ‘Poshaa’
– ‘the Pet’.
I
knew no songs to sing for him; nor did I know mantras.
Sitting cross-legged before the shrine I used to chant
‘Harih OM’ in a low voice and different tunes and raagas
coming from my heart. The voice would become lower and
lower, taking me finally to a meditative silence. Everyday,
while I used to be absorbed in such worship, a kitten would
come softly to my room, get into my lap and start purring.
Slowly the purr would merge into a silence. My mind used to
feel that it was Posha himself!
Through
this natural worship of the Sivalinga,
I was immensely benefited.
I realized that worship and the rituals are not for
the idol or God, but for the worshiper. Through the emotions
built around the object of worship, it is only the
subjective personality of the saadhaka
that grows – gets enriched, refined and purified.
Lord
Amarnath had bestowed on me bliss and calmness. He made me
see Him within. But above all, He gave me this wonderful
realization:
When the mind gets naturally absorbed in Him, then
there is neither ceremony nor ritual. That is why I never
felt any sense of loss not having done any pradakshina
or not having touched the ice-linga in the Amarnath
Cave. When my mother-in-law called me to light incense
sticks, the hands had moved but the mind felt nothing as it
was already in union with the Lord. At that moment, the mind
itself was the unwavering flame, the mind itself was
radiating a fragrance which the incense sticks could not.
My
worship of the Sivalinga
helped me to stabilize this realization. I developed
regularity in devotional routine no doubt, but at the same
time my way of worship remained simple and intimate, with no
burden or fear of routine and rituals. And that ushered my
mind to a unique closeness and freedom – an inseparable
loving identity – with my Lord.
* * *
